The Addictive Lure of Lesbian Kissing Game

Don't worry too much about coherence or length; go wild! Oh my God, I can't get this damn song out of my head! You know what song I'm talking about? The one from that lesbian kissing game we played last weekend... no not that one! The one with all those super cute girls in tight leggings and sports bras getting it on in school corridors while the janitor is cleaning nearby... wait- never mind that one either! No, no. It was the one where you had to use your controller to direct two sexy ladies towards each other until their lips finally touched in a passionate smooch. Dear Lord, now I see why they call it addictive gameplay! I swear, every single time I thought I had mastered the controls and could perfectly lead our virtual lovebirds into each other's open mouths, the screen would suddenly flip upside down and everything would be chaos again. I spent hours (OK maybe days) trying to achieve perfect sync between my thumbsticks while avoiding obstacles like stairs, lockers, and angry football players who randomly appeared out of nowhere determined to ruin our tender moment. And let me tell you something: having the music speed up frantically as the countdown clock ticked downward, building up the suspense until finally - BAM! – our pixelated sirens collided lips locked in a fiery embrace… It literally made my palms sweat! But alas, all good things must come to an end, and eventually my hands cramped up so bad that even if there were no obstacles left standing between us, I simply couldn't move them fast enough. At least we achieved platinum status before calling it quits for the night though, amirite? Now every time I hear that goddamn catchy tune playing somewhere in the background, I involuntarily start twitching uncontrollably like some kind of depraved malfunctioning robot desperately seeking its next fix. Oh well, what can I say? When it comes to lesbian kissing games, once you’ve gone digital, reality just ain't gonna cut it anymore!